Currently Reading The Count of Monte Cristo (Penguin Classics) By Alexandre Dumas père see related

Mass Expression

Songs spin music in my mind, in this state between dream and awake.  Hillsong binge.

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

I see the King of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x2)

I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Jesus we’re living for Your Name
We’ll never be ashamed of You
Whoa o oh
Our praise and all we are today
Take take take it all
Take take take it all

You sent Your Son
From heaven to earth
You delivered us all
It’s eternally heard
I searched for truth
And all I found was You
My God
I’ll only ever give my all

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

God above all the world in motion,
God above all my hopes and fears,
Well I don't care what the world throws at me now,
It's gonna be alright!
[HEEEY]

Hear the sounds of the generatorions,
Making loud our freedom song,
All in all that the world will know Your name,
We're gonna be alright!

Cause I know my God saved the day,
And I know His word never fails,
And I know my God made a way for me,
Salvation is here.

You broke the night like the sunAnd healed my heart with Your great loveAny trouble I couldn't bearYou lifted me upon Your shouldersLove that's strongerLove that covers sinAnd takes the weight of the worldI love YouAll of my hope is in YouJesus Christ take my lifeTake all of meYou stand on mountain tops with meWith You i walk through the valleysYou gave Your only Son for meYour grace is all I rely onI love You so, and I give up my heart to sayI need You so, my everything

Currently Reading The Poetry of Robert Frost: The Collected Poems, Complete and Unabridged By Robert Frost see related

Hmm, no idea

I should not be up this early.  I mean, 10:04 is early, if you've been up since 1:09 last night reading Robert Frost poems and looking at Cooking Light.  (The Pasture is my favorite so far, and I can't wait to cook and actually eat real food.)  But I happened to wake up and five minutes later my mind was teeming with ideas and words and thoughts so, coincidentally, I had the time to write.  That's one of the biggest things for me - having time.  Wordsworth was right in saying that poetry is recollected in tranquility, even the most horrendous stuff, and prose seems to work the same way.  And if that's true, my life hasn't been tranquil for quite a while.  College is just too diverting.

I can't sleep after I wake up.  Well, a "duh" statement, but I can't go back to sleep.  I mean, there's the whole day ahead of me - granted, without my best friends right now - so why not start research again or go for a run or read novels?  Life's too exciting.  We forget that sometimes.  But yes, jumping out of bed after wake up - it's the fate of a Type A, I suppose.  But really, what I should be, or aim to be, is this other type over here, I forget what it's called, but they do everything that Type A's do without the stress.  I like that.  Efficient and unstressed.  But I do love that balance of business where I get everything done but feel like I'm accomplishing a lot and I'm not stretched too thin.  It's my adrenaline.

I went to breakfast at our hotel this morning and picked some things up from the breakfast bar.  An older woman was also fixing herself a cup of coffee and as she reached over to get the cream, she said, "Hello."  I smiled back and said, "Hi, how are you?"  All she said was fine, smiled, and walked away.  But it made me happy, because strangers communicated (ooh, good song title).  I like random people that make you smile and realize that every single person has depth and hopefully genuineness.  So, yes, our hotel.  I slept in the biggest bed you've ever seen, with four fluffy pillows and soft white sheets - in my own room.  I am still an only child at heart and love having space to myself when I go to sleep and wake up.  There's a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom that will get used tonight after the wedding reception.  I also have plenty of space and a couch, a kitchenette, three chairs, a TV, and a desk.  I like it.

Why, you may ask, am I still in Birmingham even though Spring Break officially began yesterday morning at 10:23 when I got out of my BP exam?  Well, my cousin John and his bride Sarah are getting married today at 2:00.  My parents flew in yesterday morning in the drizzling rain and several of us went to O'Charleys for lunch.  My mom and I went last-minute shoe shopping for today and we won't talk about what Katie did to her car.  Then, we went to the Club.  Now, if you don't know what the Club is, don't feel bad - I didn't either.  It's a remodeled 1950s club next to the Vulcan statue overlooking the entire city.  The view last night at 9:00 was absolutely gorgeous.  The marble walls and decorative tile ceilings, the slanted balcony and the bathrooms made you feel as if you'd walked into another decade.  It was so good to see everyone, after we eventually got there.  Kendall, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Marilyn, Uncle Joe, Aunt Kass, Kendall, Gigi, and of course John.  I hadn't even had time to think about them coming, being so busy all week.  (Trust me, I barely had time to sleep - that's not balance.)  My dad gave an uproariously funny speech, which he ended with, "Now, I don't want to take too long. . ."  And we learned more about what Johnny did in New Orleans than I'd like to have known.  Raise a glass.  It was a nice evening with very nice in-laws and even nicer orange-cinnamon biscuits.

I believe I write differently when I know other people will read what I've cared to pen down.  Not that it's any better - I don't think I'm any sort of writer, by any means - but the content seeks to be wittier, more likeable and jovial.  Do you have times when you wish you could say certain things but know you won't ever actually say them?  I have conversations with myself.  Haha, no, I'm not walking around my room having a conversation amongst my multiple personalities.  Sometimes it's depressing, sometimes I'm thankful that I have it out in my mind and move on.  There's always something struggling to get out, something unsaid.  But, to make this a tragedy and not a satire, hopefully we can say the most important things and leave out the gruesome details that are "better left unsaid." 

There's a cold swimming pool outside my window.  Two strange men walked by on the outside.  It's raining.  I like the rain.

><> Katie <><

Currently Listening A Little Princess see related

Shake it up - shake them up

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

There are plenty of nice people in the world.  Sweet girls, caring daughters, loving husbands, nurturing mothers.  And that's all well and good - it's conducive, probably necessary, for an all-around positive environment.  But that's not all there's supposed to be.  There's supposed to be strength, courage, grit.  Determination and drive.  The picture of the "good life," whatever that means to you, isn't just supposed to be bordered with roses and daisies (or something else that doesn't remind you of allergies).  There's got to be something real in that picture.  Sometimes the grit and grime of work brings immense satisfaction, like struggling to solve a statistics problem on a test and finally emerging with the answer (I can identify).  Or perspiring in the hot July sun all day until that horse fence is built (I can't identify).  I mean, goodness, Jacob wrestled with a Man in Genesis 32 all night.  11 times in the Old Testament, God tells someone to be strong and courageous.  Know why?  Because that's what their task required.  The very fact that He told them to have those indicates that whatever was coming was not something pretty.  And that's okay, because He is with you always (Matthew 28:20).  Just don't miss out on the satisfaction of perservering (James 1:12) and gaining so much more in the process.

* I don't know what I'm writing half the time.  But I know I'm writing, and that's enough. * Pick a pretty picture * It's supposed to snow here on Thursday - yippee! * I hear there are cleaning leprechauns. * Is there really a right way to hang the toilet paper?  I missed the memo. * lazy daisy *

><> Katie <><

I face my demons, wresling these angels to the ground
And all that I could find was a thin line between
All the saints and villains it was crossed
In my own mind

Some day I'm gonna find it, wish knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray
I woke up this morning, don't know where I'm going but it's alright
I wouldn't have it any other way

Struggling between the facts and fiction, I'm alone
But I'm alive
Everyone around me is trying to make a statement
Then there's me
I'm just trying to survive

Some day I'm gonna find it, wish I knew what I was looking for
Inside the disarray
I woke up this morning, don't know where I'm going but it's alright
I wouldn't have it any other way

If this was any other day I'd pretend to know where I stand
I just don't know

Currently Reading Anna Karenina (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) (Barnes & Noble Classics) By Leo Tolstoy see related

"To love another person is to see the Face of God." ~ Les Miserable

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.  ~ 2 Corinthians 9:8

Notice that I've been reading "Anna Karenina" for awhile now?  Well, it's a long read.  And "Gilmore Girls" mentioned it on Disc 4, Season 1.  So, during Jan term, one of the busiest academic periods I've gone through, I've not only become a "House" junkie, but a "Gilmore Girls" junkie as well.  Anyway, Rory made Dean read Tolstoy and he complained about the names being too long and all ending in -sky, and some girl throwing herself under a train.  It made me smile, because now I can identify.  (Well, I really disagree with him - it's a magnificent novel.) * Run the hot water until your hands sting * Song in my head: "Can I have your attention? / What are we starting here?" * It's amazing what opening your window can do.  Especially liberating considering I live in an 11 by 14 room.  You hear the wind through the trees, just outside your window.  Sounds almost like the ocean, with the rustling ebb and flow.  You hear the marching band practicing at Seibert Stadium.  You hear birds calling every so often.  You hear friends shouting to one another and laughing loudly.  You hear life.  I had forgotten - or maybe never really known - how cool creation is. * I don't know what it means.  I really don't know much of anything.  I don't know what I'm supposed to be or where I'm going.  But I'm going to enjoy now.  I'm going to live now.  Excuse me . . .

YOU WILL BE BLESSED WHEN . . .

You choose to be content, accepting that you are in the right place now for your growth, discovering that the peace you seek is within you - that today's miracles are enough, and knowing that you will grow according to your faith in God.

You choose to be responsible, knowing that you create your circumstances with your thoughts, choices, actions and reactions - accepting total accountability for your life and results.

You choose to perservere, holding to your visions when it is easier to lose sight, climbing over barriers when it is easier to quit, and viewing every obstacle as a blessing to increase your knowledge, your strength, and your resolve.

You choose to give, knowing that you must give before you will receive, and that what you give will return to you many times in the most incredible ways.

You choose to forgive, releasing your mind from attack on itself, discovering the healing of personal accountability, realizing that the past is a gift to guide you - not imprison you, and allowing yourself to move forward with a peaceful heart.

You choose to express gratitude, focusing on each of today's miracles, increasing your awareness of the abundance around you, and opening your heart to accept more of God's richest blessings.

You choose to love, allowing the peace in your heart to flow toward others, and knowing that love is the only gift that can outshine fear and despair.

Love, Grace, and Peace, Katie

On the beach, at night,
Stands a child, with her father,
Watching the east, the autumn sky.

Up through the darkness,
While ravening clouds, the burial clouds, in black masses spreading,
Lower, sullen and fast, athwart and down the sky,
Amid a transparent clear belt of ether yet left in the east,
Ascends, large and calm, the lord-star Jupiter;
And nigh at hand, only a very little above,
Swim the delicate brothers, the Pleiades.


From the beach, the child, holding the hand of her father,
Those burial-clouds that lower, victorious, soon to devour all,
Watching, silently weeps.

Weep not, child,
Weep not, my darling,
With these kisses let me remove your tears;
The ravening clouds shall not long be victorious,
They shall not long possess the sky--shall devour the stars only in
apparition:
Jupiter shall emerge--be patient--watch again another night--the
Pleiades shall emerge,
They are immortal--all those stars, both silvery and golden, shall
shine out again,
The great stars and the little ones shall shine out again--they
endure;
The vast immortal suns, and the long-enduring pensive moons, shall
again shine.


Then, dearest child, mournest thou only for Jupiter?
Considerest thou alone the burial of the stars?

Something there is,
(With my lips soothing thee, adding, I whisper,
I give thee the first suggestion, the problem and indirection,)
Something there is more immortal even than the stars,
(Many the burials, many the days and nights, passing away,)
Something that shall endure longer even than lustrous Jupiter,
Longer than sun, or any revolving satellite,
Or the radiant brothers, the Pleiades.

~ On the Beach at Night by Walt Whitman (good ol' Walt)

Currently Reading Anna Karenina (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) (Barnes & Noble Classics) By Leo Tolstoy see related

Please let this be a beginning

After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt.  1 Samuel 18:1-5

"He loved him as he loved himself."  Isn't that so how it's supposed to be?

I feel like an update!  (I'll write about "Anna Karenina" on a later post.  It makes me happy.)  = )

Today is one of those beautiful days where, so far, and with God's grace, it will be a perfect day.  The sky is impossibly blue.  There is a slight chill in the air and a breeze but it makes basking in the warm sunshine all the more delicious.  People are golfing out our back door, practicing an art.  I met up with a wonderfully wise friend of mine at a local coffee shop and talked for an hour and a half.  It was fantastic.  We talked about so many things, school, spiritual issues, classes, next year.  And I now have enough caffeine coursing through my veins to make my hands shake with excitement.  Yes, today is one of those days when, driving back with the windows rolled down, I could just start laughing, for no reason other than Joy.  It was fantastic.  I was happy to be eating cereal.  Yes, cereal, of all things, made me delightfully happy, and when I realized this, it was even crazier and better.  I like today.  I love people.  I wish I could go back and tell them how much love I have for them.  Just because they were a person in my life, someone I met, and I realize now that they were precious, simply because they exist.

There's a song by Chris Tomlin, I believe it is, that goes something like "The whole earth is filled with your glory / It's rising up, all around / It's the anthem of the Lord's renown."  Anyone who's been in a church in the last year or so has probably heard this song because it's so overdone, BUT I had this thought while driving that people are everywhere, and people are glorious, so maybe the Lord's glory isn't simply creation, like the earth, but people, His crown jewel.  I mean, Jesus didn't die for the land and the sea.  Sounds so simple, but it was one of those moments where thoughts suddenly collide into coherence, and the realization is almost audible.  It's brilliant.  Oh look, more coffee . . .

I'm going back to class in two days, forty-three hours and two minutes to be exact.  And you know what?  I'm perfectly okay with that.  As long as I can follow the material and it's explained to me in a linear fashion, I think I can go with Statistics.  I might even enjoy it if I understand.  There's such a sense of accomplishment in mastering a problem, reaching the solution with exertion.  Coming up with the right answer and knowing you did it right.  Math is safe, but it's also evasive at times and you have to doggedly track it until you catch it in the foxhole.  I like that.  I think I could like anything good and beautiful and awe-inspiring right now.

But it's not about the coffee.  It's about energy, the energy to relate to people, pulsating with it, thrumming to reach them and pursue their hearts, provide for their specific needs.  Observant.  I want to be observant of other people and their needs, so I can know how to reach them, help them, hold them.  I don't even know what I'm specifically saying or getting at, it's just pouring out.  Say it with a hug, say it with a song, say it with simply being there.

><> Katie <><

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you